**Facebook Post 101917 at 11:18AM**
Day 54
Day 54 has come and gone and I am still on trail. The big goal was to potentially beat the world record, still held by Heather Anderson at 54 days, 7 hours, 48 minutes, unless someone else had beaten that self-supported record while I have been on trail and I wasn’t made aware of it. Well, it didn’t happen for me (this year), not even close. In fact, I think I’m still a bit shocked at how difficult Maine and New Hampshire were, keeping me on trail over a month alone. Reality is though, I was well aware before I left for this trip that I had not been through the northern part, which is commonly spoken of as difficult, and it could potentially hold me back this year, which it did. Surprises happen on the trail even when you are familiar with a section, so it was no surprise Maine and New Hampshire held obstacles for me. I had prepared mentally not to kill myself over it. Also, I prepared three years of my life to pursue this goal, not two. I figured if the northern part was more difficult and cost me time, that at least I would now know the entire trail from top to bottom, having had walked it in it’s entirety at least once. My third year would be based on experience, which is something I would need to accomplish something so rigorous anyway, I think. If I had completed the world record this year, I would have assumed it was luck.
Anyway, the next goal I had set for myself, if I was unable to beat the world record, was to at least finish 1,800 miles in the two months I would be out here. Well, that didn’t happen either. I told myself that if I didn’t complete the 1,800, vastly improving my number from last year, I would have to consider not pursuing the third year, and let this goal go. Hard to do. The thing is though, this isn’t just the two months I’m out here. It’s about the training, early mornings out at the butt crack of dawn walking with a heavy pack, sweating balls. It’s the weekends where I have to travel to trail heads and walk, again with a large pack on. It’s the nights at the gym, the blog, the Facebook posts, the raising funds for the cause, the gear research, the everything that dominates my normal life in preparation for this. It’s a constant. It’s not being able to travel to visit family because I’m obligated to a three year endeavor. It’s obsession. It’s putting regular goals that pertain to my life off in order to pursue a dream. Ugh. Reality bites. So, this year because neither the world record or my goal of 1,800 miles was achieved, I am going to have to think long and hard about going for it a third year. Problem??? I finally have the whole trail under my belt, meaning mistakes can now be thwarted due to my knowledge of the terrain and the ability to not make the same mistakes twice. Experience (again) could make all the difference in a third attempt. I’ll have to think hard.
So, all hope is not lost though. I did have a third goal for this year, which was to complete the last of my miles on the AT. Which I’m so close to doing now, I can taste it. I’m in New Jersey. My next and last state is Pennsylvania, and I don’t even have to complete the whole thing, I just have to get to Boiling Springs which is closing in on 200 miles away at this point. Thank goodness. Problem? I’m way overdue to be back home. Way overdue! I didn’t leave a rent check for my landlord for November because I had no idea I would be this delayed. I need to get back to work as soon as possible because season is about to start. (October 30th is unofficial start of season.) I have bills to pay and I’m running low on funds or even a way to get them into my bank account. Got to get to steppin’ and fast.
The original goal was to be done by the 8th, get to Baltimore, MD, see my brother and the family, get to Danville, VA, see my bio-mom and my grandfather, stop at the few locations where my remaining bounce boxes are on my way south, then hit my parents up in Lake Worth, FL, then over to Fort Myers. I wanted to have a couple days off to reorganize my apartment. My boyfriend, Jason, and my friend, Stephen (subleasing my pad) had basically moved all my stuff out and around to secure things because of the hurricane. Figured it might be nice to get my home back in order before returning to work. Now none of that is going to happen. I will be hustling to just get home and I will have to jump right back into life, no transition period what so ever. Such is life though. Isn’t it?
I have to say this year was brutal. And I’m not so sure of myself any more. I worked pretty hard at getting myself up here and I got my butt handed to me. Not so much so as I quit, which I didn’t, but I had no idea what I was in for with all the scrambling and rock climbing, being sucked in by bogs, night hikes and rain, cold weather and carrying extra gear. Racing to beat the snow. Challenging was just the beginning. Am I even capable of getting my crap together enough to legitimately beat a world record??? If so, it would take more training than I’m doing, and way way way more strategic planning. I’d say, as usual, it was less my physical ability and more about fear of loosing teeth, being soft when it came to showers and laundry, to spite the motivation it builds, stopping for breaks when I should have been flying, not recognizing opportunity, getting caught up in unforeseen obstacles, and just general lack of talent for proper decision making. I mean, can these even be things I could weed out with better planning and familiarity?
I’ve decided while I think these next coming months about whether or not I’m willing to do this one more time, to access the people I have in my life who are more knowledgable about the AT and see what they suggest and say. Maybe they have the gems I need to perfect my strategy. Maybe they can see something I am not. Maybe they can give me better performance mechanisms. Maybe they can guide me when it comes to the things that sidetrack me on trail. Maybe all hope is not lost, or maybe it is. Time will tell. For now, I just need to get my butt home ASAP and get back to life. I’m pretty sure my friends and my boyfriend are missing me and I am so much missing all of them. Home is great! Florida is pretty bad ass as well. I love the south! No threat of snow!
PS… There’s always the Triple Crown! 😉
4:45PM Start Day 61 (101917)
•4:45PM (Estimate) Barrett Road
(Mile 829.9)
•8:30PM Camp (Mile 837.0)
•6:30AM Wake up, Pack
•8:30AM On Trail
•11:30AM Break (Mile 843.2)
•12:15PM Lott Road (Mile 844.7)
(Walk .4 into Unionville, NY, get pizza)
(Walk .4 back to trail head)
•1:15PM Walk back to trail head
at Lott Road (Mile 844.7)
•3:45PM Break (Mile 848.3)
•4:45PM (Estimate) County Rd 519
(Mile 850.5)
4:45PM End Of Day 61
APPROX 20.6 Miles
