I always feel like no matter what I am doing to prepare, I could be doing more. This is pretty much my normal state of mind, but truth is, I might be on to something. Lately, my training hasn’t been what I need it to be, and my enthusiasm for the whole she-bang had been waning. I could give a million excuses as to why, but maybe I’m just a bit overwhelmed. There is always so much to do. It feels like it never ends. Plus, I’m not getting enough sleep as I try to adjust my night owl schedule to an early riser routine. My water intake is low, and I’m finding myself just going through the motions.
Oh, but how much change does a day bring? Last night I had an extraordinary conversation with my boyfriend and it made me speak out loud all the reasons I want to hike the Appalachian Trail and try for the self supported world record. It made me think about how lucky I am to be here physically, capable, able to take on such a challenge, mentally ready to try and do and be. I have amazing people supporting me, who believe I can do it. It’s bigger than I am.
So, thank you Derek for making me speak words that changed my paradigm immediately. Putting the obvious right back in front of my face. Thanks to all my friends who encourage me. Thanks to my customers and supporters. Thanks to my sponsors. I have a new enthusiasm today I did not have yesterday.
I got up this morning and I ran. I ran hard and I ran for longer than I have in weeks. I kept my head up and noticed when my shoulder muscles would tighten up, and try to consciously relax them. I cleared my mind and just headed forward. I felt how my gate reacted to certain weight exchanges between steps. I noticed. I reacted. I was in sync with my body. It was amazing.
After The run, I went to the dock and meditated. It wasn’t a long session, but enough. My eyes closed, I focused on the lack of light, and the wind against my face. I repeated a strange mantra that kept creeping past the nothing…
I stare out onto the red horizon,
and all I hear is the wind.
