Day 37 (092217)

**Facebook Post 092217 at 6:23AM**

I was reviewing all my posts from the last month on the trail, and one major one is missing. Not sure what happened there, but I’m going to blame spotty service.

My camera on my phone did come back, although it’s only the “selfie” camera that works all the time. Since I’m not a huge fan of constant selfies, that’s too bad. BUT the regular camera did come back after weeks of my phone living in a bag of rice. Not that I should break out the sparklers and start celebrating though; it’s super finicky. Sometimes it works just fine, sometimes it says, “Hell NO!”, and then sometimes it looks like it’s going to work, then just as I’m about to hit the button it freezes, the screen starts turning every color of the rainbow, and it dies.

I think I’ve figured out sly ways to work around its bad attitude, but sometimes it’s just not going to happen, but then there are the other times…

So, here are a few shots from the trail… Thank you Apple for making one heck of a product. I’m just amazed it came back at all.

 

11:25AM Start Day 37 (092217)

•11:25AM Gifford Woods State Park (shower, directly off trail) (Mile 485.9)
•12:30PM On trail
•2:45PM US 4, Rutland (Mile 489.0)
•7:30PM Cooper Lodge Shelter
(Mile 495.3) Sleep
•5:00AM Wake up, pack
•6:00AM On trail
•11:25 (Estimate) VT 103 (Mile 506.7)

11:25AM End Of Day 37
APPROX 20.8 Miles
(Met with a friend on trail, forfeit WR)

Day 36 (092117)

**Facebook Post 092117 at 9:15AM**

Next stop… Killington, VT

**Facebook Post 092117 at 1:21PM**

So, today I am having an entire silent conversation with myself as I hike down the trail, specifically about the time and place to poop. You don’t want to be too close to the trail, someone might come hiking by and you also don’t want to burden anyone with the unfortunate “I just stepped in poo” moment. There isn’t a lot of opportunity to wash ones shoes after. You also don’t want to be so far off trail you might get lost. It can’t be too rocky, because then you won’t be able to dig a deep enough cat hole. You don’t want too much brush, because, God forbid, some of that brush might be Poison Oak or Ivy. It would also be very nice if there was a slight breeze. I mean, not the type of breeze where you are almost knocked off your feet while trying to hold position, but just strong enough to give you a that refreshed feeling. I suppose this means I like pooping at elevation.

This conversation with myself, mind you I’m spending an exorbitant amount of time alone in the woods these days, went on for close to twenty minutes. This my friends may mean I have some issues, but I digress… Anyway, it suddenly dawned on me. This conversation seemed oddly familiar. Not that there isn’t some variety of it every time I have to go, but…. Christen DuVernay I feel like not only have we shared many a poop joke, but that quite possibly during a past moment in our very long friendship, or perhaps during a time we shared bumbling through woods together, we may have shared this very conversation. If not, it completely reminded me of one we would have. AND I’m pretty sure we wouldn’t have had to be in the woods to converse on such a subject.

(Also no pooping near water sources, tent sites or shelters, because that’s just gross. And no pooping on a slope. I want to bury that shit, not watch it roll down hill, or go tumbling after.)

 

11:25AM Start Day 36 (092117)

•11:25AM (Estimate) Stream (Mile 474.1)
•3:45PM Stony Brook Shelter
(Mile 479.0)
•7:30PM Kent Pond side trail to Killington, VT (Mountain Meadows Lodge, .2 off trail)
(Mile 485.1) Sleep
•7:00AM Wake, pack, etc..
•9:00AM On trail (Walk .2 back to trail head) (Mile 485.1)
•9:30AM VT 100 (Mile 485.7) (Walk .6 East Camping Supply (Opens at 10AM) (Walk .3 to Grocer, but light food supply, lunch) (Walk .3 back to Camping Supply, buy fuel) (Walk .6 back to trail head) (Mile 485.7)
•11:25AM Gifford Woods State Park (shower) (Mile 485.9)

11:25AM End Of Day 36
APPROX 11.8 Miles
(Add 2.2 miles for Meadows Lodge, going into town to Grocer, and Camping Supply)

 

Day 34 (091917)

**Facebook Post 091917 at 3:25PM**

Ever since I got even remotely near Vermont, the weather has changed considerably. It’s getting warmer by the day and the humidity would give Florida a run for its money. I’m not saying I am not painfully aware South New Hampshire/Vermont may get colder at any moment, but not since I’ve been here. Well, I take that back, at night I still freeze my butt off, but even that hasn’t been as bad lately. Only wearing one jacket to bed as opposed to two. I will say this as well, with warmer weather come more bugs. It’s relentless. Spiderwebs in the early morning. Gnats in the mid afternoon. And mosquitos in the evening. Not to mention the constant threat of ticks. Literally every time I feel itchy, I weird out that I have a tick, but none so far, thank goodness. I am running out of bug spray though. On the list for today.

Last night I decided last minute to stop at a shelter just outside of Hanover, since the wind was really starting to kick up and it had been raining off and on, and looked as though it might possibly get worse. It didn’t, nothing but a drizzle, but it was enough to soak my tent, which I hung up in the doorway of the shelter to dry. Ha! Had to put it away pretty damp today. Yuck, but honestly, everything I owned seemed damp or dewy this morning. Not much I could do about it. Pack up and go.

I’m in Hanover, NH, at the moment at the Richard W. Black Rec Center. They have Laundry and a shower for a total of $5, plus they are literally off trail (trail rolls directly through town). Can I just say absolutely lovely people here, and if you are passing through, stop in for a nice hot shower and laundry. You won’t be disappointed. Plus, they have a nice little hang out area while you wait for your laundry to dry and a strong wifi signal. Loving it!

I’m picking up my new shoes later today in Norwich, VT, at the Norwich Inn, which is across the river, but they informed me when I called ahead, that they didn’t have laundry services, so I sought out other avenues. Plus, it’s way too early in the day to stop hiking and bed down at the Inn.

Not so by the way, just a comment about fall. It’s totally beautiful and the leaves are all turning all sorts of beautiful colors and falling down out of the trees. The views will be stunning shortly. Already picturesque as hell, but leaves on the ground mean more slipping, which I did today. No bumps or bruises thanks to some awesome trekking poles saving me, but between that and the tread on my shoes being worn down, I’m slip sliding all over the place and have to be extra cautious. Sort of sucks, since I’m trying to go as fast as I can. Also, the leaves kind of hide where the rocks and roots are situated, making it a guessing game with each step. AND, sometimes the trail just disappears under all those leaves. Thank God for Guthooks today, or I would have been hopelessly lost. I veered off trail onto some side trail and at least realized it pretty quick, but without looking at my app, it all just blended together. I got back on track just fine though, very little time lost.

So, I know in previous posts I mentioned having a 40 lumen headlamp, which basically meant I couldn’t night hike. Plus, my night vision sucks anyway. I literally have to bend all the way down to get a close up of the rocks, even when wearing that headlamp. The brighter, the better as I’m learning. So, when I bought a second headlamp in Gorham, 250 lumens, I was thrilled. Well, it was awesome for like a day. I used the batteries the headlamp came with without buying spares, then somehow left the headlamp on in my bag for hours, so it was dead two nights later. Of course, when I was in North Woodstock over-resupplying, I never once thought about buying batteries. So, today I did. Yay!!!!! Finally night hiking is possible again!!!!!

Again, I should be in Vermont as soon as I cross the Connecticut River from Hanover into Norwich. Just waiting for laundry to dry, then I’m on the road again. I just want to say how amazing it is how quickly, literally as soon as I left the Whites, my miles went up, and drastically. I’d like to say scrambling and rock climbing just aren’t my forte’, but I don’t think that’s the case. I kind of like it, to a degree. I think it’s more about how much I like living and keeping the teeth I have. Caution is on your mind with every step, since every step could potentially alter your health permanently, or could possibly take your life all together. This is not so much an issue outside the Whites. Like I said, I have been slipping a lot in the last couple days. Sure, it’s been wet, lots of leaves on the ground, and I’m going fast, but when I go down, I don’t think to myself “This is it. I’m about to die.” LOL… Thank you southern NH for not being so damn dangerous. I’m pretty sure as I eat my food out of my backpack and get rid of the extra ten pounds I have been lugging around for the last couple days, my miles will not only double, but improve even more. Kind of excited to see where this goes.

Speaking of numbers, when I was at Hikers Welcome Hostel in Glencliff, NH, a couple days ago, I noticed a bizarre discrepancy in my numbers. Suddenly, I was missing a couple days. So, I investigated and found I had blended my days in Gorham and for some reason couldn’t figure out where the other day went. I spoke up about this while hanging out with Fox and Stepping Wolf and out of nowhere Fox yells out “Franconia Notch”. God damn! She was right. She’s not only Foxy, but psychic. Watch out for that girl, she may be dangerous. LOL! So, anyway, when I get to the next hostel and have more time than just waiting for laundry, I’ll be updating my numbers. For the worse. I thought I was on day 30, but I was actually on day 32. Bummer. Still holding on hope that since the terrain has changed so much, I’ll be quickly running through the miles. Between having an actual headlamp I can use for night hiking and eating my extra ten pounds of over-resupply, once I’m back on track, I will be busting moves like a ninja (a little reference for Fox). Whoo-hoo!!!!! Let the killing of miles begin!!!!!!

**Facebook Post 091917 at 5:21PM**

There you are Vermont (aka Vermud), you sexy little state you!!! It’s as if I’ve been waiting for you all my life!

I tried a relationship with Maine, but she was cold and it was rocky, and to be frank, she’s also a bit of a bitch.

I tried a relationship with New Hampshire, but I think she’s more on the manic side, all those ups and downs, too much for my taste.

But you, I hear you are pretty straight forward, and a little dirty. To tell you the truth, a bit of a turn on. Let’s share a very brief and warm romance. Shall we? You can get cold after I leave.

Kisses Vermud! (I mean Vermont.)
😉

**Facebook Post 091917 at 6:26PM**

NEW SHOES!!!!!!!

11:25AM Start Day 34 (091917)
•11:25AM (Estimate) Hanover, NH
(Mile 442.1)
•Spent day at Rec Center for shower and laundry, light resupply in Norwich, getting shoes from Norwich Inn
•7:30PM Stream (Mile 444.7)
•3:00AM Wake up
•5:00AM On trail
•7:00AM Happy Hill Shelter (Mile 448.0)
•8:30AM Tigertown Road (Mile 451.3)
•10:30AM Joe Ranger Road (Mile 455.5)
•11:25AM Totman Hill Road (Mile 462.3)
11:25AM End Of Day 34
APPROX 20.2 Miles

Day 33 (091817)

**Facebook Post 091817 at 2:22PM**

(091717) Stepping Wolf, Fox and me, all southbounders, stayed the night at the Hikers Welcome Hostel. That was pretty much it, just us three. Sort of unusual for it to be so lonesome at a hostel, but the fact we were all southbounders was pretty weird all on its own. I don’t meet too many southbounders in general, especially lately, but both the northbound and southbound bubbles have past, and with each new day, all the thru-hikers seem farther and fewer. In fact, today I only saw two northbounders all day, and my two southbound cohorts started out of the hostel behind me, so I have no idea what happened to them, or even if they left the hostel. Who knows?

I did meet the Trail Magic Omelette Man today though. The guy has a full tarp setup right on trail. I actually was so in the zone, even though one of the two northbounders I saw had warned me I was closing in on his location, I completely forgot and almost ran right into the whole shebang head on.

He offered me candy, cookies, drinks, a host of goodies, but all I really wanted was some juice. He also offered me his special, an omelette, but seriously I was way overloaded with resupply already. I need to be eating more of my own food, not someone else’s. Even still, he convinced me to take a couple bananas and a no bake fudge cookie…God help me.

Today I spent most of my day strategically eating once an hour, in an attempt to lighten the load. By over-resupplying in North Woodstock/Lincoln and then also having a bounce box waiting for me in Glencliff, I managed to bog myself down with so much food I could feel it i my knees today while hiking.

Before I left Hikers Welcome, Stepping Wolf offered to weigh my pack. I really didn’t want to know. I could feel the weight when I put the pack on. I knew I was way overloaded. When I started out, I was carrying under 10 pounds of food. First weigh in was 8 pounds, 11 ounces. My base weight should be somewhere around 10-11. I’m guessing at this number, because I added a couple items of gear to deal with the cold weather, and I also added a new headlamp which had more power than the one I was previously using. When Stepping Wolf weighed my total pack weight today I came in at 30 pounds. That’s about 10 pounds more than I have been carrying. I’ll tell you what. I won’t do that again. It made for a really hard day of hiking with lower than anticipated miles. It felt like even though I was stopping to eat constantly, every hour on the nose actually, even with hiker hunger, I couldn’t eat enough nor did I really want to. The weight never was relieved. My pack is huge. I’m at max capacity for sure. In fact, I’m guessing I could stay out in these woods for two weeks and never resupply. I, of course, say that now. Food goes quick believe it or not. I’m just bitching ‘cuz it’s heavy.

I know better though. I just keep making dumb ass mistakes. The last few times I was coming in for resupply were perfect. I literally was on the last of what I had, and it was all perfectly timed. Although, I’m not going to lie, I always get a bit freaked when I’m that low coming in for resupply, since usually that means at least one day of rationing and pretty much no snacking in between meals. Not fun. You can get pretty drained exerting that much energy and not taking in enough sustenance.

I feel like there is this sweet spot to every decision I have to make out here. When do I resupply? How much do I buy and carry? When do I want to stop next? Will they have all the necessary things I need? Sometimes I’m right on the money, but then I go ahead and think because I feel great now, I can over do it, or underdo it. It’s insane the planning, or guessing rather. At least with me, I think I know what I have to do, but if I did, and I was that good, I wouldn’t be making dumb ass mistakes and carrying 10 pounds more food than I need. When does all the experience come in? When do I finally know what to do without having these hiccups????? Ugh. Is anyone ever really an expert?

11:25AM Start Day 33 (091817)
•11:25AM (Estimate) Lyme-Dorchester Road (Mile 422.6)
•4:00PM (Estimate) Goose Pond Road (Mile 428.2)
•6:30PM Moose Mountain Shelter
(Mile 431.2) sleep (main headlamp batteries have been out, forgot to get new ones at last resupply)
•6:30AM Wake, pack up
•8:00AM on trail
•11:25AM (Estimate) Hanover, NH
(Mile 442.1)
11:25AM End Of Day 33
APPROX 19.5 Miles

Day 31 (091617)

**Facebook Post 091617 at 7:26AM**

So, just to recap… My last hostel stop was at The Notch, in North Woodstock, NH. Totally a great recommendation, and if you have the time or need resupply, stop there. Great town, cool little hostel.

My issue is I’m on a time constraint, and if I had realized that it was closer to 6 miles off trail, not the 5 (my ultimate limit for going off trail) suggested by the AT Guidebook and Guthooks (a hiking App on my phone) I most likely would have made the effort to mail more resupply to Glencliff, and push on to my next hostel stop which is right off trail (.3 miles) and only 1 or 2 days hike past the 2 trailhead stops for going into North Woodstock. Plus, I just assumed the resupply would be somewhere in between the trail head and the hostel, it was not. It was another 2 miles in a different direction and another town, Lincoln.

I did not plan that one very well, I took the recommendation not checking. Not saying it was a bad idea, totally a nice stop, but when you are trying to do big miles, stopping places far off trail doesn’t help the cause. It pretty much meant I dedicated an entire day getting to and from the hostel and resupply.

So, with the goal of this trip now not to set the FKT, cause Maine and NH pretty much shocked the shit out of me, I’m going to attempt to try and complete at least 1800 miles in the 54 days (Heather ‘Anish’ Anderson’s time for 2189). (Taking a brief time out for my grandma’s funeral.) If I do not complete the 1800, I have already decided I will not spend the time raising funds, training another year, buying all new freaking gear, etc., for the third attempt.

I am continuing to keep with the FKT rules of not getting into any vehicles during my trip, or accept any gifts, care packages, or anything not deemed “true trail magic”, no slackpacking, etc.. I feel like if I can do 1800 keeping with those rules, pushing another 500 out of myself under those conditions would be quite possible.

So, right now, I’m only at around 400. It’s not looking good for me, but I also have been looking slightly ahead in my AT Guidebook and holy hell does Maine and New Hampshire hold true to their reputations. I agree with most of the other hikers and hostel people I have met familiar with the terrain, the hardest two parts of the trail for sure. But I’m close to Vermont now and it looks like it does open up like I’ve been told. So, I’m hoping with the conditioning I have just received, and the fact the terrain is much easier, I will start to fly.

We shall see… Keep your fingers crossed for me. And hopefully, I will get wiser as I go with my planning and not find myself in predicaments where I have to go far off trail to get food and a shower. It’s time to buckle down ya’ll!!!!!!!

**Facebook Post 091617 at 8:59AM**

Dear fellow hikers on the Appalachian Trail,

All the morning spiderwebs going across this section of the trail have now been cleared, with my face.

You’re welcome!

– Sadego

**Facebook Post 091617 at 9:01AM**

Had a trifecta moment this morning. Found a spider, an adult tick, and a chigger in my tent. Welcoming committee to Vermont?

(I’m not there just yet, but maybe they send out representatives?)

**Facebook Post 091617 at 8:07PM**

I am officially out of The White Mountains!!!!!! Yay!!!!!

11:25AM Start Day 31 (091617)
•11:25PM (Estimate) Mount Moosilauke (Mile 393.2)
•5:15PM NH Route 25 (Mile 398.7)
•5:25PM At Hikers Welcome Hostel
(.3 miles from trailhead) sleep
•7:00AM Wake up, go over miles
•10:00AM Pack to leave Hiker’s Welcome
•11:00AM Leave Hiker’s Welcome Hostel in Glencliff, NH
•11:25AM (Estimate) Webster Side Trail (Mile 400.7)
11:25AM End Of Day 31
APPROX 7.5 Miles
(Add .6 miles to Hikers Welcome from trail head and back)

Day 30 (091517)

**Facebook Post 091517 at 5:47PM**

66.6 miles to the Vermont border. That’s weird… Hmmmm.

11:25AM Start Day 30 (091517)
•11:25AM North Kinsman Mountain
(Mile 378.5)
•2:38 Eliza Brooks Shelter
•4:44PM Mount Wolf
•6:15PM Gordon Pond Trail to east
(Mile 386.1) set up camp, sleep
•6:30AM Wake up, pack
•8:30AM On trail
•10:45AM Kinsman Notch (Mile 389.4)
•11:25PM (Estimate) Mount Moosilauke (Mile 393.2)
11:25AM End Of Day 30
APPROX 14.7 Miles

Day 29 (091417)

**Facebook Post 091417 at 8:58AM**

Currently I’m in North Woodstock, NH, at a hostel called The Notch. It’s really nice and the woman who runs the place is a total sweetheart. It was a recommended stop by the people at White Mountain Hostel in Gorham, NH. Not a bad one, but it was a bit off the beaten path. Once I got to the trail head, I had to walk another 5-7 miles to get to the hostel. Which means today I will be walking back to that same trail head before ever even stepping foot on trail. All good though, I had no choice anyway. I’m out of food and had to resupply. For my next resupply, I mailed a box up to Glenncliff, NH. Supposedly it will be hard for me to find an actual resupply location there, so I mailed my groceries ahead. Since it was basically maybe a two day supply at best, I will need to find more food quickly after. It amazes me as the days roll by how much food I actually need to sustain myself. Not that this is something new, but the Whites are pretty brutal and require a lot of energy to finish, therefore as much food as I can fit into my mouth. In fact, I literally could stop every hour and eat.

Aside from all the food talk, the trail in The Whites has been up and down, literally. The climbs can be insane, and the the descents just as bad, if not worse. The fact that I have not broken my neck or slipped off a cliff amazes me. There’s still time though. (LOL) If I had known there would be so much scrambling and rock climbing, I may have passed on the whole endeavor. Dude, its downright dangerous in some places, and if you are not the athletic type, I would say stay out of the woods. Although I have made it to North Woodstock, the other hikers say there are still plenty of The Whites left to climb. I had made the assumption, by looking at the map, I may be through the worst of it, but apparently there is at least one more mountain region I need to go through, Mt. Moosilauke. From what I can tell from the few pages I have in front of me out of the AT Guide, it looks like The Whites may end somewhere in the low 400 miles of my trip. I’m at around 375 now. Looking good. They tell me you know you’ve finished The Whites when you come across trail magic from The Omlette Man. He sits about 2 miles north of route 25 and serves omlettes to all the hikers. Only catch, I have to get there before 5pm, when he starts packing it up. Will do.

Other than that, I have met a couple idiots out here. One worked for Pinkham Notch. I asked where the trail head was once I was passing through their lodge area, and he basically misinformed me on purpose that camping was forbidden anywhere between their location and the next designated camping spot, which was 4 miles away. It was 9pm, when I went through there. I was obviously alone and it was dark, and obviously had been hiking already the majority of the day. As far as I’m concerned, his intention was to harm me. He was a total dick. He made sure to bring me to a location where not only could I see the trail head, but so that there was a large audience. Then he started talking about how people like me shouldn’t be allowed to hike because we poop all over the trails, etc., etc., etc.. It was so offensive, one of the women standing nearby started speaking up, but he kept going on and on. Creeper!!!!! Yes, he is a Pinkham Notch employee. Lovely. And I assume its not the first time he has given that speech. BTW, he can go fuck himself, I stealth camped anyway. AND it’s not illegal, you just can’t do it within a certain distance of the lodge, not 4 miles. Dick. the other asshole was just some guy on the trail, who looked like a day hiker. When I didn’t feel like turning on my phone, because it was low on juice, I simply asked him the direction I should be heading. He told me, but I made a comment that I had just come from that direction and he started going off on me about how he has no reason to lie to me, and how he hopes I have better direction on the rest of the trail or I might find myself hopelessly lost, etc., etc.. Why people want to be dicks in such pristine of environments I have zero understanding. Boggles the mind. Luckily I just nod my head, and go about my business. No need to correct the idiots of the world. No time.

So, I’m still trucking along. Other than that, people in general have been great. I’m loving putting in the hard miles, except when its too hot, or too cold, but I’m guessing that’s part of the game. Left my shorts at White Mountain Hostel; Notch gave me new ones. Got my period early. Wasn’t supposed to get it at all. Have a huge bruise on my right thigh. Tangled with a tree limb coming down a mountain. AND my camera on my phone seems to be working again, although with a few glitches, but that’s pretty amazing. Thank you two weeks in a bag of rice. I constantly don’t have enough food, but I don’t want to carry 30 pounds of food with me everywhere. I still haven’t gotten in a car, but that will change once it’s time to get off trail for my grandma’s funeral. And yeah… That’s it.

**Facebook Post 091417 at 9:31PM**

Today I finally got the chance to speak with my Aunt Jamie who is basically my liaison in regards to my grandmother’s services which are scheduled for around the 30th. Today she let me know that my three uncles and my father each received a portion of my grandmother’s ashes and at least my father and my Uncle Brian have intentions on spreading their portions on the property here in NH where my grandparents had owned a cabin back in the day. I guess my father’s family spent a lot of time there when they were kids, and apparently my grandmother really loved the area. I can see why. NH is pretty unbelievably beautiful from what I’m seeing, and I hope someday again I’ll be lucky enough to spend more time here.

Anyway, I guess prior to my grandmother’s celebration of life, my uncle and father will be driving past me on the Appalachian Trail. I spoke to my father about picking me up at one of the trail heads and bringing me to Kingston, NY, so I can spend time with everybody and see off my grandmother properly.

I may have to buy something to wear to that. All I have are hiking clothes and pretty much everything contains the dull odor of BO no matter how many times they are washed. Besides, dressing appropriately is just a given. I’ll figure it out.

The background story:

I’m adopted, and unlike most adoptions, mine was hardly clean cut. In fact, I like to tell people I was infamous before I could walk. Unlike most adoptions, mine made The NY Times, and many other highly read publications of the day.

You see, my biological parents, Blayde and Linda, were married when I was conceived, but they were barely old enough to be called adults. They quickly separated before I was born and subsequently custody became an issue between them. For whatever reason, my father was not granted parental rights to me (it was the 70s) and my mother somehow, unbeknownst to her, signed adoption papers instead of the foster care paperwork which she was under the impression was what she was signing. In the meantime, my parents who raised me, Jerrold and Linda, legally adopted me.

At some point, my biological mother realized the mistake she made and contested the adoption. It went all the way to the NY supreme appellate court and my biological mother actually won her case. My adoptive parents were ordered to hand me over in a matter of days, but by this point they had had custody of me for some time, and resisted the idea of giving their daughter back. Instead of handing me over, case closed, my parents fled the state of NY in the middle of the night (2 duffle bags and a baby) and flew to Florida, where they remained in hiding (in a Hollywood Beach hotel room thanks to their attorney) until their case was heard in a Florida courtroom, where they eventually won.

While all this was going on, my grandmother, my biological father’s mother, the person I’m going to celebrate the life of in NY in a couple weeks, kept a journal of events and of her experience throughout the ordeal. I was the first grandchild she had had. So, I’m guessing this was a pretty big deal for my father’s entire family, especially my grandmother. Clearly.

I assume as an actual adult at the time, this would have been a life altering experience emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. You don’t fight for justice and remain the person you once were. And I’m sure, although I wasn’t there in a way, my grandmother spent an enormous amount of time focused on the events that took place.

Blayde, my father is a free spirit, and although I’m sure his heart was in the right place, he was still very much a young adult, an easy target for railroading. As was my mother, Linda. I feel like, even though I don’t exactly know what happened, my biological grandparents, probably had a lot to do with the fight for my custody. It’s what parents do when they see their kids getting into shit. They fight.

Being that said, to this day, there are members on all sides pissed off about the matter of my custody as a baby. I think my biological father’s family was not happy I ever even ended up in the situation, because they felt if my mother wasn’t going to raise me, they should have had the opportunity. My biological mother’s family felt like everything was a mistake and I should have been raised with them. And my adoptive parents are still pissed because they were established for generations in Long Island, NY, and had to leave their home, belongings, friends, family and everything behind and sneak out of town and hide in order to keep their new family intact. (i.e…. me)

Fast forward…

I’m 27 and I get a large package that had been sent to my PO box. (My band’s address.) Thanks to this new invention called the Internet, my Aunt Karen, my biological mother’s younger sister, who btw had already been searching for five years, got a lead, an address. She took it upon herself to write down her thoughts, and put together a “this is what happened according to our side” package. In the package was the invitation to create contact. Of course I did.

I won’t get into how it all happened right here, right now, but it snowballed into me meeting all of my family on both my biological mother and father’s side and also resulting in me eventually obtaining my grandmother’s journal from during the time of my adoption. She gave it to me when I first met her. I imagine she held onto it for almost 30 years, just hoping someday she would be able to pass on what that experience was like. What their side of the story was. What her side was.

Let’s just say, when you loose a family member in this way, meaning me being raised somewhere else by what my father’s family would more than likely refer to as strangers, in unknown conditions, in an unknown location, you probably spend those 30 some years wondering what happened to this person. Are they alive? Did they become successful? Are they a drug addict? Did they end up in jail? Do they have children now? Do they know their own story? And so on and so on.

Once I regained contact, I always felt like my grandmother at family events would watch me closely, yet from afar. Analyzing the person I am in a weird kind of way, but quietly, always seeming to be really happy I was around, finally. It’s sad, I didn’t get to be much a part of her life even after reestablishing contact with my family, so many years had gone by, and I live very far away, but at least there were those few events, and at least it happened while she was still alive. The wondering over.

So yeah… Kind of a big deal I attend my grandmother’s services. It’s what she would have wanted. And it’s what I want. Plus, I always relish getting to hang out with my father’s family. There is always a lot to learn about where I come from, why I am the way I am, and the unbelievable truth that you can’t fight genetics. Besides, my family is huge and their are a ton of dynamics at play. It’s all very entertaining. I love it!

In truth, I had an excellent upbringing which included private schools, Polo clubs, trips to Disney World, and my little brother, who I love dearly. Things probably couldn’t have been better for me, but you do always wonder who you would have been given fate taking a twist. I wouldn’t change a thing. BUT I do feel for all my family members who suffered on my behalf.

To see me today, these days where I walk hundreds of miles, where I continually have some sort of art project going (My Aunt Jamie said today my grandmother always had a Bible in one hand and a paint brush in the other. LOL. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. I’m a Buddhist though. Sorry Grandma.) where my goals in life consist of a constant need for over achieving, working harder, living larger. Would I be who I am otherwise? Who knows? BUT I am blessed. And even though my biological family didn’t come into my life until later, at least I have them around. Better late than never.

It’s weird. Even though I didn’t meet my little sister until I was almost 30, it sort of seems like we have always known each other. We are the same in many unspeakable ways. Even though my adoptive parents were not very artistic, I inherited my Grandmother and my Aunt Judy’s (my mom’s older sister) talent and love of art. I’m outdoorsy and love my firearms like my Uncle Jimmy. My humor is identical to my little brother’s and we could go on for hours making up words and generally being goofy. My adoptive parents gave me a work ethic that won’t quit. My biological mother gave me my entrepreneurial spirit. I could go on, but I’ll spare you… LOL

I constantly can’t help but think as I walk through these mountains and see the wonders of our country in person, how blessed I truly am. You know, many people in this life won’t ever see what I have. Most people won’t ever have the opportunities I have had. Most people won’t get the amazing experiences I have gotten to live and learn from. And most definitely, most people don’t get such a massive family system to draw from. Charmed is an understatement. I truly have it all.

Biological, adoptive, what’s the difference? I don’t know. My family includes so many characters, some blood, some not, some others would just call friends, but I still feel like friends can be family. I have so much, so many options to draw from, so many people I could go to. Life is sort of amazing. Isn’t it? The people in my life have helped shape who I am. How could they not have?

It’s a shame that it’s when people die, like my grandmother, that that’s what it takes to get you to really sit up and pay attention to what you have and have lost. Another link to history gone. A link to my past gone.

Well, here is to looking at life much closer, and truly appreciating what we have. Much love guys!

https://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=1873&dat=19730827&id=YG8eAAAAIBAJ&sjid=cskEAAAAIBAJ&pg=648,4132123

https://mobile.nytimes.com/1973/07/17/archives/return-of-adopted-child-is-ordered-withdrawal-request-denied.html

https://www.newspapers.com/newspage/133721586/

11:25AM Start Day 29 (091417)
•11:25AM bike back to Notch Hostel (2 miles from Lincoln, resupply) organize bag at hostel
•4:30PM start walk back to Franconia Notch trail head (5.7 miles)
•7:00PM at Franconia Notch trail head, sleep (Mile 373.1)
•9:15AM Lonesome Lake Hut (Mile 376.1)
•11:25AM North Kinsman Mountain
(Mile 378.5)
11:25AM End Of Day 29
APPROX 5.4 Miles
(Add 5.7 miles walking to trail head from Notch Hostel)
(Add 2 miles, bicycle resupply Lincoln, NH, and back to Notch Hostel)

Day 28 (091317)

**Facebook Post 091317 at 11:59AM**

That’s it!!!! I’m starting a second naked hiking day. It’s a thousand degrees out here and I forgot my shorts at the last hostel. Noooooo!!!!! I hate hiking in soupy sweaty pants!

(We get two temperatures out here… Freeze Your Butt Off -OR- Naked Hiker)

11:25AM Start Day 28 (091317)
•11:25AM (Estimate) Garfield Pond
(Mile 363.6)
•6:30PM Franconia Notch (Mile 373.1) Get off trail and walk to The Notch Hostel
(Add 5.7 miles to walk to Notch Hostel)
•9:00PM Arrive at Notch Hostel, sleep
•7:00AM Wake up, eat breakfast, organize, post, etc.
•11:25AM rent bike (2 miles into Lincoln for resupply)
11:25AM End Of Day 28
APPROX 9.5 Miles
(Add 5.7 miles to Notch Hostel)
(Add 2 miles to resupply)